the evening  

I was scared.

fuck I really was. when she reached out and her hands penetrated my outer layer I felt this sudden grip of fear

her head was turned away and her eyes were fixed on a point in the distance …

as usual …

as always when we talk

it felt like as if she held my stomach in palms of her hands … just for a short while … and then she moved gently backwards shaking her head as she always does

she smiled gently talking about some sad experience from her past

I can’t tell how real the transmission was but I didn’t want to break the connection

I think I stopped caring at that point …

later I was told I passed out which is why the pilot shocked me out

I still have the scars on my neck where the skin was burnt by electric charge

I look at them in the mirror everyday